My brother was born June 15th 1991. I had to stay at the Robrt’s house and they have two kid’s named Joe and Anna. Joe is 7 and Anna is 4. I had to sleep at the Robert’s [not sure why I spontaneously opted for the correct spelling of their name this one time] because I’m not allowed to sleep at home by myself. [Pretty good so far, eh? Makes sense, spelling is good, etc.] I code not wate to see my nuw baby brother. [D’oh!] He was 8 ponds and 4 ancis and my brother’s name was Michael and now he is 16 munths. Now let’s git back to when my brother was born. [Yes, ma’am!] I code not wate to see my brother when I sow my brother I wnetid to pik him up and [get ready…] sqwees him to bits. An hour past and the Robrt’s cam with presents Michael got a botul and pujas [pjs?] and I got a pers with a panda and a whale on it. [a panda and a whale? What kind of ridiculous animal pairing is that? I demand answers!] A little whyol after the Robrt’s left the Sormo’s came with presents Michael got a nuk [which is to say, pacifier*] and a swet sut and I got colering Book and a skech pade. The Sormos stad for a little whyol and woched t.V.
When the Stormos [this is actually the correct spelling] left My Dad drov me back to the Robrt’s house until four then I hade to go. Three Days later.[Alert! Classic sentence about to be read!:] My mom came home with a bondol of Joey [!!!!!!] but there was one problem my brother did’nt have a name we allrety hade a mitol name we thot and thot and then at the same time my mom and I shotid Michael and Michael it was. Mom sed it was Prfect a blond hare blue eys Michael.
- - - - -THE END!!!!!!! If you feel like you need to take a nap after reading this, I completely understand. *whew!* I’m worn out!
* Some people call them nuks, some people call them pacifiers. At some point, my family began calling them- and I am not making this up- loodle-oos. I'm pretty sure that's what toddler-Michael called them, and like many other items that he renamed as he started talking, it quickly caught on with the rest of the family.